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A large spider

September 16, 2012

So, this morning I went outside to bring in some laundry from the clothesline. Then I saw this:

For scale, I invite you to consider the clothespins near the spider. Also for scale, the sports bra upon which the spider is resting is not, like, for toddlers. It is an adult American lady size medium. I also invite you to notice that the spider seems to be carrying something under its body (it looks beige in the photo), which I can only imagine is some kind of egg sac and DEAR GOD THE GIANT SPIDER WANTS TO LAY EGGS IN MY SPORTS BRA AND HATCH AN ARMY OF GIANT SPIDERS.

So, I tried to discourage the spider’s location with a stick, but the spider would only move from one side of the sports bra to the other. After that, I decided that the laundry probably needed more time to dry off.

After a few hours of schoolwork and a leisurely lunch, I figured the laundry was probably all the way dry and the spider had probably found something better to do. I was right about the laundry being dry, but the spider was still exactly where I’d left it. I went inside and said to John, “That giant spider is still totally on my sports bra. Do you want to see it?” So then John and I are both staring at the giant spider. “Obviously, the first thing to do is to take down some of this other laundry so that I can get a good picture,” I suggested.

So then, since my previous work with the stick was unsuccessful, I decided to try throwing rocks at the spider. A spider large enough to throw rocks at! Augh! Although my aim was surprisingly decent, giant spider was not giving up its new home. Eventually, we managed to convince the spider to live under the deck with the help of the SEVEN-FOOT BAMBOO POLE I keep near the front door. One pair of underwear was a casualty, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay to keep the giant spider army out of my fitness apparel.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Cristina McClelland permalink
    September 17, 2012 2:35 am

    I will never complain about the tiny spiders that live in my house again. Damn -that a freaky spider!

  2. September 17, 2012 6:10 am

    Ewwww. Sports bra had dirty spider feet on it!! Probably needs to be re-sanitized. šŸ˜‰

  3. Elizabeth permalink
    October 15, 2012 10:39 am

    This post made me lol for reals. And also made me glad that I’ve never had a spider anywhere near that size in my life, much less on my sports bra.

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